We’ve made it this far in our friendship by skirting most social and political issues, keeping our conversations to the topics of friends, lovers, family members and fashion, which is the primary glue that bonds us. We ended our IM discussion on the plight of the earth by agreeing to disagree, she as “an environmentalist, who just doesn’t happen to believe in global warming” and me as the non-environmentalist who believes that greenhouse and carbon gas emissions are dangerous for everyone. Still, the conversation left me thinking. As uncomfortable as politically-tinged debates can be with loved ones, how are we to grow if we constantly avoid confrontation? And as we enter what looks to be a much buzzed about presidential election period, is it even possible to avoid them these days?

Natasha Cruz, a liberal 30-year-old editor in Manhattan, thinks not. “Politics are a major topic of discussion between me and my friends. How can it not be? I mean, you can only gossip behind people’s backs for so long,” she laughs. “But seriously, it comes up often, though usually ending in frustration in anger,” she adds. Albeit ninety percent of Cruz’s friends are liberal, which means they view each other as being on the same ideological team for the most part. “Rarely do our discussions become severely heated,” she admits.

Asha Barclay, a liberal 30-year-old fund-raiser and mother of two living in Boston, completely steers clear of political conversations, no matter what issues her friends may or may not feel strongly about. “I make it my policy not to discuss it with people simply because I’m too sensitive and opinionated. I’m easily offended and to be honest, I know my views would probably offend others if I spoke about them freely,” she tells me before recalling the last time she had a political argument with a friend. It happened during her senior year of college. The topic was a Congressional candidate’s stance on welfare. Clinton was president at the time. “She came from a privileged background and viewed welfare recipients as lazy people who didn’t want to work. I got really angry and launched into a tirade. She saw my point, but insisted that she was still going to vote for the Republican candidate. I got even angrier because she was just voting along party lines instead of really paying attention to the issues. After that, are friendship became increasingly shallow,” Barclay admits.

Christina Prak, a self-professed “closeted Republican” and fashion editor based in New York, has a similar rule. The 31-year-old says she’s witnessed too many of her friendships die at the hands of presidential debates, but would like to be more open about her opinions. She compares her plight as a conservative to that of gay’s in the ’80’s and blacks in the ’50’s. “It’s ridiculous because at various points in history we’ve had people try to downplay their color to avoid persecution or hide their sexuality to avoid discrimination. Now we’re in an age where Republicans need to hide the fact that they voted for Bush. It’s frustrating,” she says. The realization set in when her “best friend in the world since we were 13,” a lesbian who lives in Spain, told her that the reason they hadn’t spoken in twelve months is because she found out Prak voted for Bush, twice. “People act as if I did a personal disservice to them because I voted the President into office,” she adds. “I’d like to talk about my opinions more. But it’s just too hard. Most of my friends are liberal and it can get really personal.” That means she doesn’t get to explain the particulars of why she’s conservative on issues of domestic policy and national security and liberal on the immigration.

Mauricio Sanchetti, a 32-year-old liberal, believes we suffer a loss when we choose not to dialogue about the hard issues. He’s also lost several friends over politics, but refuses to bite his tongue.”I’ve had arguments with friends about politics and I can say now, that I’m not as close with those friends anymore. It’s a fact. But some people prefer to be ignorant and only talk about issues with people who have the same opinions that they do,” he says. Cruz thinks laughs are the answer. “Even though most of my friends are liberal, I’ve been able to talk politics with my conservative friends with lightness and a sense of humor,” she says.

In the case of my global warming-refuting friend, we didn’t end the debate with Crichton jokes. Neither one of us has changed our opinion on the matter since she watched “An Inconvenient Truth” and I read Crichton’s essay from start to finish. We did, however, manage to listen to each other’s side of the argument and agree to disagree, which seems to be a good start.